By Maida Khan
We came across such people on daily basis that seems to be more opinionated about others than themselves. Before moving any further, first I want to clarify that there is a huge difference between sharing your problems with loved ones and criticizing/backbiting about others for sake of pleasure. Indeed humans were created to share feelings, to be there for each other in happy and sad times. But, that does not mean they should make each other happy by being there in leg pulling process of other humans.
What hear from others is just that part of information which they select to expose about others and themselves. Also, what we see is that part of information which someone selects to reveal about him/her. “Social Penetration Theory” of mass communication beautifully explained this process by using onion as metaphor. We all humans are like layers of onion. We expose our personal information to others step by step i.e. from non-intimate to intimate level. Point where we disclose our actual self is similar to central layer of onion.
You can see how difficult it is to get at the point where you can actually know what the other person really is. I am sure most of the people die, without even discovering that innermost layer in them. But, they are really good at describing traits of central layer in others. People pass comments on the lives of other as if they are wearing and walking in their shoes. We all are fighting different battles on different levels. Just because any person do not expose his/her innermost layer to gain your sympathies does not mean that everything in his/her life is perfect and you are the only one encountered with all the troubles of life. Don’t be someone’s support if your caliber doesn’t allow you to do so but then, also don’t be the reason to take away support at which other person is standing and fighting back. Instead of wasting time on describing others, people must first know who and why they are!
It’s my humble request to all those who are reading this piece that please avoid passing comments on someone’s personal life, dressing style and character. Also, don’t waste your energy and time on listening to such down market arguments. Unless someone’s personal choices are not harming you by any mean, you should not poke your nose in anyone’s personal matter. Whenever you feel like this world is too bad and you are too good, don’t just see the mirror rather face it to see ugly side of your own face. After doing so, all the bitterness/prejudices you keep for others will vanish and you will start tolerating the differences. Facing your real face will keep you away from doing part time job of God and angels. Let God and angels do their job and you do yours.
Never ever forget: “Fools take a knife and stab people in the back. The wise take a knife, cut the cord, AND SET THEMSELVES FREE from the fools.”
About Author:
Author is an aspiring journalist. She is multi-talented and very much committed to her work. She started her career in journalism as reporter from PTV News Islamabad. She did not confine herself to journalism field only. She is great writer, director, producer and photographer. She has excellent communication skills. “Jack of all trades” is an appropriate term to define her versatile personality.